okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
