I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize
