member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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