Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
