i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
where am i from again
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
