Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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