I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
