Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
