We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
