yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
No I am not eating basil off your cock
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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