Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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