Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
