The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
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