I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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