using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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