Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
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