so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
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Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
