Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
