have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
