This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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