I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
