Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Randomize
