if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
