dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
The Olympian is in my bed
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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