We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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