I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
