That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Randomize
