i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
