my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
