omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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