Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
