recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
it's like heaven, but drunker
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
We were destined to go to rehab together
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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