the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
