So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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