I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Randomize
