Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
