Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
