I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Be still, my beating vagina.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
