Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
