There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Randomize
