OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
