I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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