I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
