He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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