Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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