billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Randomize
