totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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