At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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