The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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