I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
