yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
